


Terrible Things

by cutsiecastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 01:44:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4372319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutsiecastiel/pseuds/cutsiecastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>life can do terrible things (that can sometimes be not so terrible things)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Terrible Things

They had met when they were little. Dean was 4 and Cas was 5 and they had met on the playground when Dean fell and scraped his knee. Dean didn’t want to cry; he needed to be strong like his daddy. So he had pushed himself up to his feet and tried to take a step, but wobbled and fell right back down. Tears started welling up but he stubbornly refused to cry. He was strong, it didn’t hurt _that_ much.

“Oh no!” A small voice called out. Dean rubbed at his eyes and nose as a small boy wearing a bright yellow raincoat came running up to him. He stopped directly in front of where Dean was sitting and paused for a moment before pointing at his knee. “You have an ouchie.”

“No, I fine.” Dean pouted in response.

The boy frowned at him. “Yeah. See?” The little boy poked at Dean’s knee, to which Dean just yelped. “Here, I can fix it!” He rummaged through the pockets of his coat, which Dean could now see had little bees all over it, until he pulled out a band-aid.  He dropped to the ground with a thud and the sounds of scattering gravel in front of dean. He carefully peeled off the backing and stuck the band-aid crookedly over top of the scrape “See! I fixed it.”

Dean stared at the band-aid on his knee. It was white with a small bumble bee flying on it and as dean stared, a small patch of red appeared in the center. “Thank you.” He said smiling at the other boy as they both stood up.

Dean wobbled a little bit, but the other boy just took his hand and walked with him. “I’m Castiel.”

Dean frowned. “Cassiel?”

“No, Cas _t_ iel.”

“Cassi- Castsie- I’m gon’ call you Cas, okay?” Dean told Castiel. “I’m Dean.”

“Okie. Hi Dean.” Cas replied, smiling at Dean fully, gums and all.

“Dean, are you okay?” Dean looked over to see his mommy walking over to him and Cas before kneeling down to be at their height.

“I fell down. But my new friend Cas fixed it!” Dean replied pointing proudly at his knee. “It was bad and hurt.”

“That really is a terrible thing! But I’m glad that Cas here could fix it for you.” Mary said smiling at the two of them. “Do you want me to take a look, or are you two gonna go play?”

“Play! Play! Play!” Dean chanted happily. Mary nodded and went back to the bench she’d been sitting on before the two children had come waddling over. Dean ran over to the slide, pulling Cas along with him.

When the boys finally get tired of running around the playground, they go to sit on the swings, trying and failing to swing themselves with their short legs.

“Hey Cas, why did you have a band-aid?” Dean asked.

The other boy shrugged. “My brothers are silly sometimes and get ouchies, and I like helping people. My brother Gabby says I should be a doctor when I grow up.”

“That sounds cool. I have another question.”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Why do you keep staring at me like that?”

“Like what?” Castiel asked frowning.

“I dunno. It just reminds me of how my daddy looks at my mommy.”

“I don’t know. You’re just really pretty.”

“Oh. Well, you’re pretty too Cas. You have really neat eyes. They look like the sky!” They fall into silence again until Dean squirms his way off his swing to go behind Cas. “Want me to push you?”

-x-x-x-

“Alright Winchester, truth or dare?”

The party was dumb and pointless and Dean had other things he’d have liked to be doing with his night, but the rest of the guys on his soccer team had made him come. He’d at least managed to convince Cas to come with him. His teammates had ditched him a while back anyway. He’d refused to have more than one beer with them and they had promptly gone out to the backyard and he hadn’t seen them since, though he could still hear them.

“Dare.” Dean answered, squinting at Gabriel. He didn’t trust the guy with making him _do_ something but he’d rather that than have to admit something. God forbid the guy asks about Ronda Hurley.

The older boy just grinned, the stick of his lollipop poking out of the corner of his mouth. “Okay. I dare you to... kiss my baby bro.”

“Gabriel, that’s a terrible thing to dare him to do!” Lisa said from beside him, hitting him in the shoulder not too lightly. At least that’s what Dean gathered from Gabe’s wince.  

“Not taking it back though. So c’mon boys, pucker up!” Gabe made kissy faces at Dean, and half the people playing laughed and the other half looked like they were scared that Dean might break the guys nose with a soccer ball.

It had only happened once; people needed to get over that.     

And maybe now was the perfect chance for him anyway. People know that Dean is incredibly competitive, maybe if things go wrong he can say he’s kissing Cas just for the game. No one would actually accuse him of _wanting_ to kiss him right? No one would know that he’s maybe slightly a tiny bit in love with his best friend.

Ignoring the crude noises Gabriel was making, Dean turned to the younger Novak brother, now blushing profusely. “Y’know, we can just... pretend.” Cas whispered softly into the collar of his sweater. “I’m in the drama club; we can make it seem realistic.”

This was Dean’s only chance. He could keep being a coward and agree to that, or he could be slightly less of a coward and kiss him and then pretend it meant nothing. Dean bit his lip. “But that’s cheating.” He said back before leaning in close enough for their lips to almost touch. “Is it okay?” He asked quietly, staring intently into Cas’s eyes. He didn’t close the distance between their mouths until he’d been given a slight nod.

It wasn’t the first kiss that Dean had dreamed of, but that may have had something to do with the fact that his dream kiss came directly after an admission of Castiel’s love for him too, and this was a ridiculous high school party and he knew his breath smelled and probably tasted like cheep beer and menthols. But Cas’s lips were soft and warm and he smelled like mint with a hint of weed, and maybe Dean didn’t get the fireworks and declarations of love that he wants, but it was a damn good kiss regardless.

When Dean pulled away, Cas’s face was still red, and he could feel the heat creeping up his neck up to the tips of his ears. “Holy shit. I didn’t actually think he’d go for it.” Charlie exclaimed.

Dean and Cas were still staring at each other when someone cleared their throat and reminded Dean that it was his turn to go. He wasn’t entirely certain, but he thought he’d dared Charlie to give some dude a lap dance before he claimed he needed a smoke and walked out for a bit.

He didn’t really need or want a cigarette though. He didn’t really like them because they were bad for his health and smelled awful, but he sometimes needed to de-stress when fresh air wasn’t enough. Now though, getting out of the house was enough. The fresh air was a big enough contrast between the muggy, and claustrophobic atmosphere of inside the house. Dean wasn’t sure how long he was out on the porch before Castiel walked up next to him. It was even longer before he actually spoke.

“Thought you were having a smoke.”

“Thought I was gonna.”

And that was it. They did speak again for an eternity before, “I want you to kiss me again.”

“W-what?” Dean spluttered, turning to stare at his best friend standing next to him.

Castiel continued to stare straight ahead, not really avoiding eye contact, just watching the street in front of them. “I’ve wanted you to kiss me for a while, but I figured you’d be bothered if I asked you. I also didn’t think you’d appreciate it if I just kissed you, unprompted. So I didn’t bring it up, but then you refused my plan and you kissed me.” He finally turns his head to look at Dean. “So that leaves me to believe that you either _wanted_ to kiss me, or you`re just really intense about truth or dare. So if you wanted to kiss me, please do it again.`

Dean stared at Castiel slack jawed for a moment before nodding dumbly and leaning down to kiss him again. This was more like that dream kiss he’d dreamed about; Cas had feelings for him. He would have to if he’d wanted to kiss Dean for as long as he did, unless Cas just wanted in his pants really badly. But Dean was pretty sure it was more than that. Or at least he hoped so. But it was possible that-

Castiel pulled back. “Stop over thinking things and fucking kiss me.” He whispered before grabbing Dean by the lapels of his leather jacket and kissing him again.

They stayed there for a while, before they decided to just leave. Dean drove them both back to his house where they snuck into his room without waking up Sammy. They kissed again, and again, and decided that they would talk about things in the morning but for the time being, they were both content to cuddle and fall asleep in Dean’s bed.

-x-x-x-

Maybe Dean was being presumptuous in that he and Cas had only been dating for the past four years, and he was only twenty this year, but he just really wanted to marry Cas. It was a random thought he’d had a few weeks ago while he had been making dinner of all things. He’d been grilling burgers when suddenly he realized; damn, I should ask him to marry me.

Maybe he should wait until a better time, a time when both he and Cas weren’t swamped with college work, but Cas’s birthday was coming up and that was apparently _the day_ to propose according to his brain. So he’d been looking around at rings and he’d been asking around to see what he should be doing about this. Meaning Dean called up his mother or Charlie every other day panicking about his convoluted plan.

He’d refused to tell anyone else though. All his buddies and classmates had similar opinions on marriage; it’s a terrible, terrible thing. So, Dean figured that he wouldn’t bring it up with any of them until he had gone through with proposing. Given that he actually _goes through with it._

A week later, Dean has a ring and he’s wrapped the box up in yellow wrapping paper with bees flying on it because Cas still loves bees and it reminds Dean of the first day they met. Dean’s making burgers again because they’re Cas’s favourite and because it gives him something to do with his hands so he’s not constantly shaking and moving around.

He serves dinner with the customary “Happy Birthday!” but other than that they’re both too busy eating to really converse, and Dean’s thankful for that. At this point, Dean’s afraid that if Cas asked him what he wanted to for breakfast tomorrow he’s probably say “you to marry me.”

After dinner they settle onto their beat up couch to watch a movie of Cas’s pick but before Dean lets him, he pulls out the little box. “Here. Happy birthday, baby.”

Cas takes the box from him carefully with a soft smile on his face. “I thought I told you not to get me anything?”

“Yeah, yeah whatever. Just open it before I decide to give it to you as a Christmas present.”

Cas grinned, before he carefully opened the gift, his thumb softly brushing over the little bee as he went. When he opened the box he gasped, quietly staring at the ring in the box for a moment before turning his wide eyes to Dean.

“I, uh, I know this may be a kind of, um, inopportune time, but um. Man I suck at this. You know I love you, right Cas? Well I love you a lot. So, I guess this is me asking you’ll uh, marry me?” Dean stuttered, watching Castiel’s hands instead of his face. “I mean, if you said no, I’d totally understand. I don’t want to rush you into something you don’t want but-“

“Oh my God Dean, shut up.” Dean’s head jerked up, just as Cas’s mouth came crashing down on his own. “Yes, I’ll marry you, you idiot.” Cas breathed as he pulled away from Dean. Just slightly, enough for their lips to almost brush as he spoke and for them to be sharing the same air.

Dean let out a relieved laugh. “Good. That’s good.  I’m, yeah. Good.” He smiled at Cas before kissing him again, and again, and again.

-x-x-x-

Dean’s life was good. He and Cas had their ten year anniversary last month; he’s got a great job teaching contemporary history at the local high school, and Cas is a doctor in the pediatric ward. They’ve even been considering the possibilities of adoption lately.

Dean gets home earlier than he usually does; he didn’t have a million essays to mark for once. When he calls out for Cas, he thinks he hears some sniffles before a weak “In the kitchen!” can be heard. He walks in on Cas hovering over a cup of coffee at the breakfast bar wearing his giant sweater that Dean’s fairly certain that they could both fit into depicting bees that he only ever wears if something’s wrong. Although “wrong” can mean anything with Cas. The last time he wore this sweater, his laptop had died because he’d been so into a documentary of some sort that he had forgotten to charge it.

Dean walked past him, kissing the top of his head as he made his way to the coffee pot to pour himself a cup. “So what terrible thing is it today?”

“Dean.” Cas’s voice wavered the slightest bit that if Dean hadn’t known the man for the past twenty-five years he would’ve missed it.

He went to stand across from his husband and put his cup down. “Cas? What’s up, babe?”

“You know how I hadn’t been feeling well lately? And you told me to go the doctor right? Well I did and um.” Cas just stopped speaking and stared into his cup as if the coffee would help him find his words. Dean on the other hand felt too cold. Cas hadn’t been feeling too great for a few weeks but Dean was _sure_ that it was just some sort of flu he’s contracted from a child he’d taken care of. It had to be. “It’s bad, Dean.” Cas’s voice cracked and only now could Dean see how tired and puffy Cas’s eyes were. His cheeks were streaked with dried tears and Dean was scared.

“It’s gonna be okay, Cas. We’ll get through it, we always do. If it’s money that’s an issue we both know that we’re okay, but if all else fails, I’m sure Sammy would be more than willing to pitch in and-“

“ _Dean_.” Cas cut in harshly. “It’s- It’s not that kind of bad. It’s. The doctor’s, I had to go to a few. I ended up at the hospital and Anna took a look at me and then so did Balth and.”

“Cas, what did they say?”

“I’m sick. And it seems that I’ve uh, I’ve only got weeks.”

Dean’s world seems to stop. This is some cruel joke. Maybe Gabriel put him up to this to try to fuck Dean up because this isn’t possible. Cas isn’t as sick as he’s making it seem. He’s fine.

He’s not fine.

“What- No. I-I don’t want to know what it is right now.” Dean runs a hand through his hair. Twenty-five years and things are going to end like _this_? They were supposed to grow old together and adopt a couple kids. They weren’t supposed to end like _this_. “Are they, are _you_ sure? There’s, there’s _nothing_?”

“Please don’t be sad Dean.” They’re both crying now. Tears are running freely down both their faces. But Cas is smiling that small little smile he does when he’s trying to be brave and it _kills_ Dean. This is slowly killing Dean. “You were the greatest thing to _ever_ happen to me, okay? Please, please don’t cry Dean. I can’t. I can’t do this if you start crying too.”

But it’s too late and Dean can’t _stop_ crying, he can’t even breathe. His whole world is crashing down around him because without Cas he’ll have _nothing_. Dean can’t even _remember_ living without Castiel, and he sure as hell can’t fathom _losing_ him. He knows there’s nothing he can possibly do but there _must_ be because this is _Cas_ and this can’t be happening to _Cas_.

“Life can do some, pretty terrible things, huh?” Dean says and he tries to laugh through his tears but he feels the sounds get stuck in his throat.

Life can do terrible things indeed.


End file.
